Notes from every man's battle

General

  • Don’t ask yourself how far you can go and still be a Christian. Ask yourself how far you can go to pursue holiness.
  • Are you willing to tear down every sexual thing that stands in opposition to God?
  • Do you hate your impurity? If yes, why? Because it makes you feel bad, or because it dishonors God?
  • When you are ensnared in sin, it seems complex, but it is really simple.
  • You have everything you need. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
  • You have access to the power we need to overcome sin. What you lack is urgency.
  • You know it is God’s will for you to be sexually pure. Therefore, he will empower you to obey.
  • Sexual impurity is a habit, and you need to break it like a habit, by repeatedly choosing purity. These small decisions add up.
  • You are not a helpless victim. Listen to the truth of what God says about the situation. Know that Satan will try to lie to you and make things complex and confusing. Defend yourself with the word of God.
  • You need to set your will on purity in a permanent way, as a goal that you will not waver from. 

Eyes

  • Wake up to the small ways that you take sexual gratification from what you look at. 
  • Train you eyes to look away every time. If you fail here, you will fail in your mind and in your heart. 
  • “I have made a covenant with my eyes” Job 31
  • “You are not your own. You were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body” 1 Corinthians 6:18
  • Do not even consider looking at something you know is impure. It can no longer be a question of “should I?” It is has an answer now, and that answer is that you have no right or authority to look, and you will not.
  • Use your resources and creativity to destroy the old habit of letting impure images into your mind. It is worth sacrificing for.

Mind

  • Controlling your eyes will help greatly with controlling your mind. Don’t think that you can be lax with your eyes and disciplined with your mind.
  • If you are attracted to someone who is married, you need to actively undermine and dismantle that attraction. Encouraging it or daydreaming about is not acceptable and is perilous. Doing nothing about it is also not acceptable and perilous. The less you know about her, the more your imagination will be able to lead you astray. Seek out facts and details that will cause that imagination to wilt. 
  • If you are attracted to any woman who is not your wife, you need to treat that as a danger. Protect against it. Be alert against it. Never encourage it in your own heart or in that other woman’s heart. Do whatever you can to undermine it and dismantle it. It is a desire that needs to die.
  • This should be your mindset towards a woman who attracts you who is not your wife: this attraction threatens everything I hold dear.
  • Another defense: remind yourself that you have no right to think about that. Remind yourself of this clearly, decisively, and often. God has given you your wife. That is who your love should be focused on completely.
  • Do not spend any time looking at the woman who attracts you who is not your wife. Avoid her. Especially avoid situations where you are alone with her. Avoid having positive experiences with her. Only spend time with her if her husband is there. Don’t start conversations with her. If she invites you to do something, refuse.
  • Be boring. Be unattractive. Don’t smile, banter, give knowing looks, talk about interesting things. Those things deepen attraction. Be boring, dull, scatterbrained, and uninteresting. Be as bland as you can. Those things cause attraction to die, which is what you want in this situation, is it not?
  • If a woman is attracted to you: spend no time alone with her, even in a public place. Do not return any attraction at all. Make it obvious you are not interested. If you return attraction, where could that lead that would be a good place?
  • Women you used to know and be attracted to. Destroy anything that makes you think of them in that way. Remove cards, letters, photos. Don’t hang on to any physical thing or any memory. Let it go, and then you will be free. Hang on, and you will not. Practice capturing impure thoughts about her and rejecting them. Train yourself to do this every time.
  • “Spiritual maturity is always dictated by our willingness to sacrifice our own desires for the desires of others or for the interests of the kingdom.” Rick Joyner

Heart

  • Be consumed with God’s purpose to cherish you wife. Focus the full strength of your love on her. 
  • Treat your wife with tenderness and hold her dear. If you don’t feel like it, do it anyway, and feelings will come later.
  • Love your wife for who she is today. Don’t withhold your love until she becomes someone else.
  • Women desire to be honored and cherished. Love them that way.