Who God made me to be

A book I've been reading, The Purpose Driven Life, has gotten me thinking me about who God made me to be. In the book he breaks it into five parts:

  1. Spiritual gifts
  2. Heart 
  3. Abilities
  4. Personality
  5. Experience

This is a summary of my thoughts using that structure. The idea is to look at who I am and consider how God has created me in order to figure out the best way for me to build up the church and serve others.  

Don’t cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance, but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities by the light of the faith that God has given to you all. 

Romans 12:3

Spiritual gifts

  • Shepherding (looking out for the spiritual good of others)
  • Encouragement / Exhortation
  • Compassion
  • Wisdom

Heart (passions)

  • food and water for the poor
  • healing from human trafficking
  • gospel above all for restoration and redemption
  • artists finding and sharing joy and peace (not miserable in their art)
  • peace for the anxious

Abilities

  • Written communication
  • Web development
  • Reading (an interest engaging with ideas in books)
  • Composing music and singing
  • Teaching? perhaps on a personal level
  • Math and science (good in high school, but not passionate--larger theme? understanding systems?)
  • seeing something from a different and creative point of view
  • strategy? (strengths-finder I think)

Personality

  • Introvert. Make sure this is not a mask for fear. 
  • Prefer working in small teams or alone
  • Do not need recognition and dislike the spotlight
  • Gentle, peaceful, quiet
  • Thoughtful (too much sometimes)
  • Comfortable writing but not speaking
  • A few deep friendships, not many acquaintances 
  • Love being outside in nature
  • Cooperation over competition (though I can be competitive)
  • Do not care about fancy things
  • Can be dramatic (usually only internally)
  • Concise
  • Plain and unceremonious 
  • Strong connection to music
  • Love getting up early
  • Deep (makes other people uncomfortable sometimes)
  • Joyful
  • Can be fun and silly
  • Vivacious

Experience

Guatemala- seeing poverty 

Uganda and Burundi- see poverty even more, exhaustion, find power of prayer, spiritually alive, connect with God in the quietness, emotionally depressed by so much suffering around me

Side by Side- came to love 1st graders I taught, not good at holding their attention, find joy in loving and serving them, feel their pain,  joy in freedom from selfishness

Post grad music- struggling as an artist, sad, discouraged, bitter, trying as hard as I could and failing, God was with me through that, he led me out of it, he taught me a better way and gave me the gift of humility, so good. 

Loneliness- overcome with selfishness, powerless, miserable focused on getting my own needs met, taught a better way: be satisfied by God, serve and love others and find freedom, still in

Leading a small group- changed my perspective, how can I help others grow closer to Christ? how can I serve them and lookout for them? responsible for them, pain for their pain, joy with their joy, meaning and purpose pouring into others, using what I have, meaningful investment, makes me come alive, hard work.